Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He has the fingertips of a God
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
