You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
