I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
