So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
