You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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