Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
