Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I wear drunk well.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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