Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
