Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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