is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
