Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
