TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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