I'm jealous of your bromance
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
