Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
