she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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