I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
