my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
