The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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