I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She said her name was "party"
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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