I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
