Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
