I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
