if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
