So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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