Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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