Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
