whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
