what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
