Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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