): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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