It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
