I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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