why didn't you poke me back
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
