you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
