A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
