More tranny stories later!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
