i just had sex bonerless
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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