Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize