Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
