just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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