so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
