i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
