all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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