I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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