hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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