put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
