Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
