So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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