We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Welp...herpes.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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