Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
