dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My dick has a subreddit
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
