i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
