don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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