hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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