oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
